Been thinking about... My brother.

I miss him.

Photo by JOHN TOWNER on Unsplash

Today marks the day my brother would have turned 40 years old. He’s been gone since the age of 16. But it still hurts. I don’t want to talk about the hurtful part today, though. I wanted to share more positive things. Just a couple.

My brother always knew how to make me laugh—quite like no one else could. We had hundreds of tiny inside jokes. A look, a smirk, a gesture, a song—so many little inside jokes I could never think of them all.

One was particularly funny. First, you have to understand that my brother was a bit of a quiet introvert. I can’t remember what we were doing one day when we stumbled upon the video of Tom Jones singing “She’s a Lady”. I know most of you have heard this song, and you’re probably thinking, “Who the heck cares?" But have you watched him sing that song? He has this whole thing going on, like most singers—really getting into the vibe, into the beat as he’s belting out his whoa-whoa-whoas.

Some weeks later, all is quiet; we’re doing homework or some such quiet task. My brother gets up for a drink or snack or something, but he stops dead in his tracks, looks at me, scrunches up his face, hunkers over a little, getting “in the groove,” and belts out, “She’s a lay-deh… whoa whoa whoa... she’s a lay-deh…”. It was so unexpected, so out of the blue, and so spot on. I laughed till I had tears streaming down my cheeks.

---

For your amusement:

---

Another fun memory I carry with me is the day we started calling each other names. We were in a bit of an argument (who knows why anymore), and we started tossing juvenile names at one another. Somewhere in the middle, though, there was a change in trajectory. Looking back on it now, we sounded vicious, but the words coming from our mouths were so benign and ridiculous. All I remember is him ending with something-”honey” in a smart-aleck tone—and me calling him “honey mustard.” It caught him so off guard that he froze and then just busted a gut. Needless to say, argument was over. I know, I know, you really had to be there to enjoy the humor of that moment.

Anyway, though I know I’ll share more about him at times, I’ll close off this time around, and leave you with Matthew West singing “Save a Place for Me” and challenge you not to tear up:

---

Thanks for “listening” and God bless!

Note: If you or someone you know might be thinking of suicide, please talk to someone now. People DO care about YOU. You might not feel like that, but they do. You can call 988 (988lifeline.org) or your local police or fire stations, go to the emergency room, talk to your doctor, talk to your friend, family member, neighbor, God. Anyone. Talk to someone. God bless.